“Despite the best efforts of this Department, our attempts to prevent cyber warfare attacks against the electronic gaming industry on Cyber Monday have not been entirely successful. As of this writing, the virus known as Games For Windows has infected millions of computers. Fortunately, the DoEE prevented Games For Windows from offering any sort of Cyber Monday sale, thereby reducing the likelihood of more consumers inadvertently downloading the “Games For Windows Live” virus which has been known to move game save files to secret folders, block access to purchased DLC, and prevent players from gaining achievements.
Unfortunately, the “Origin” virus managed to infect numerous new users after continuing their Black Friday sale. This was minimized after our infiltration team managed to sabotage the Origin user interface, rendering it nearly unusable.
Shop safely America,
Special Agent Gunther Alvarez”