“Agents, please disregard my previous memo regarding “The Only Good Russian”; at the time I had been mislead regarding the current political climate. Having spent the past few weeks in the Department’s isolation tank catching up on the Call of Duty franchise by playing every game in the series, I developed a misunderstanding regarding the nature of that video game franchise.
After a brief phone call to the Pentagon, I have been assured that we are not actually at war with Russia and the Modern Warfare series is, apparently a work of fiction. My apologies for any confusion this may have caused. We’re canceling the “Omega Protocol” I activated upon my emergence from the isolation tank, so please return all firearms to the quartermaster by 17:00.
Contrary to my previous message it does seem that our former Cold War adversaries are now active members of the video game industry and former Eastern Block nations like Russia and Poland are producing quality works of electronic entertainment, including the upcoming Enhanced Edition of The Witcher 2 by CD Projekt Red. They are even engaging in the All-American activity of capitalism including video game gambling and online poker.
Other notable gaming companies from former communist nations include 1C the publishers of the Il-2 Sturmovik series of World War II flight simulators and the King’s Bounty series.
Now that that has been cleared up, will someone let Agent Zakhaev out of the detention cell and offer my apologies? I am told that his name is just a coincidence.