Author Archives: Special Agent Battersby

About Special Agent Battersby

Special Agent Battersby is a decorated veteran of the DoEE, having served the country with distinction during the Covenant invasion, the Raccoon City outbreak, and the Rikti assault on Paragon City.

2K Unveils Three New Bioshock Games

Last week fans of the popular video game Bioshock were stunned to learn that Irrational Games, the studio which created the franchise, was shutting down. In a press release on the Irrational Games website CEO Ken Levine announced “I’m handing the … Continue reading

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Black Friday Collateral Damage Within Acceptable Parameters

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The following Department Briefing has been declassified as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, I’d like to thank you all for the overtime you’ve put in during the last 48 hours.  Without your efforts, I’m certain that the casualties … Continue reading

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Sony Holds Follow-Up Press Conference To Confirm PlayStation 3

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Today Sony held a press conference in New York to unveil the upcoming game console the PlayStation 4.  Immediately thereafter they held a second press event for confused reporters to reassure them that the PlayStation 3 really did exist and … Continue reading

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Third Party Developers Discover The Wii-U

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Despite an aggressive effort to prevent video game developers from creating games for their new Wii-U console, Nintendo has confirmed that third party video game developers have learned of the Wii-U’s existence and are now working to bring products to … Continue reading

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Steam Raises Prices By 400% Overnight

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Today gamers suffered a shock as the popular digital distributor Steam increased the prices of many of its products by as much as 400%.  Games such as the 2013 reboot of Tomb Raider were selling for $9.99 only yesterday but … Continue reading

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Gamers Take Moment of Silence. Griefers Take Opportunity to Massacre and Teabag.

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In the wake of the tragic events in Newtown last week, some politicians have laid the blame on video game violence, and several video game websites have called for a virtual ceasefire in online gaming to demonstrate that gamers do … Continue reading

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Bioshock Infinite Is Using Irony, or Perhaps Sarcasm

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When Irrational games announced they are developing a new Bioshock game set in the ultra-patriotic city of Columbia, we here at the U.S. Department of Electronic Entertainment were delighted at the prospect of exploring this wonderland of American Exceptionalism.  Unfortunately … Continue reading

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Zynga Announces “Battleville”

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Zynga has seen a drastic decline in its profits over the past month following its IPO. Further plaguing the troubled company is a copyright infringement lawsuit from Electronic Arts over Zynga’s  game The Ville which EA claims The Ville is a copy … Continue reading

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Five Secrets Every Hardcore Gamer Knows That Could Ruin The Video Game Industry

We here at the Department of Electronic Entertainment possess vast pools of intel about the gaming industry.  We deal with situations every day that would leave most Americans cowering in terror.  But some secrets don’t require a  team of espionage … Continue reading

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Microsoft Confirms “Smart Fridge” For Xbox

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This week at E3, South Park creator Trey Parker poked fun at Microsoft’s new “Smart Glass” feature for Xbox, calling it a way to “Watch my television, while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device, … Continue reading

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