Category Archives: Department Briefings

Warning: Do Not Tell The Mainstream Media About Gotham City Impostors

In the wake of the mass shootings in Aurora Colorado, the mainstream media and many politicians are desperately seeking a way to connect the killings to video games.  So far they have latched onto the blockbuster hits Batman Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. … Continue reading

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This Agency Disavows Any Knowledge Of The Virtuous Mission

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The following document has been declassified as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, as you know, Konami recently released Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater 3D for the Nintendo 3DS.  Allow me to be clear, gentlemen – this video game is … Continue reading

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Five Secrets Every Hardcore Gamer Knows That Could Ruin The Video Game Industry

We here at the Department of Electronic Entertainment possess vast pools of intel about the gaming industry.  We deal with situations every day that would leave most Americans cowering in terror.  But some secrets don’t require a  team of espionage … Continue reading

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This Department Will Take Point In A Reaper Invasion

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The following Department Briefing has been declassified and is now available for public viewing as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, the release of the Mass Effect 3 Extended Cut this week prompted me to visit both the White House and … Continue reading

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Obscure Technologies Shows Signs of Reaper Indoctrination

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The following Department Briefing has been declassified as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, as you are undoubtedly aware by now, the Department of Homeland Security hired the data-mining company Obscure Technologies to design and implement measures for tracking … Continue reading

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Jessica Nigri Will Remain At An Undisclosed Location

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The following Mission Situation Report has been declassified as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, by now, you should all be aware that on Saturday afternoon, the Department of Electronic Entertainment’s Omega Strike Team was deployed to the Penny … Continue reading

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Apparently We Are Not At War With Russia

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The following internal memo has been declassified as per the Freedom of Information Act and is now available to the public: “Agents, please disregard my previous memo regarding “The Only Good Russian”; at the time I had been mislead regarding … Continue reading

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Obama Has Revealed Our Existence To The Public

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The Following Department Briefing has been de-classified as per the Freedom of Information Act and is now available for public viewing: “Agents, by now you should all be aware that the White House has made the existence of the Department … Continue reading

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Congressmen Wolf and Baca Have Over-stepped Their Authority

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The following Department Briefing has been declassified as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, you should all be aware by now that Congressmen Joe Baca and Frank Wolf recently introduced the bill known as H.R.4204 which, if passed, requires … Continue reading

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We Will Assist Umbrella With “Operation Raccoon City”

The following Department Briefing has been declassified and is now available for public viewing as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, I regret to inform you that the Umbrella Corporation recently contacted the White House, seeking federal support for … Continue reading

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