I Assure You, The Illuminati Do Not Exist

Attention citizens,  we here at the Department of Electronic Entertainment are glad to see that you all enjoyed yourselves with the hands-on play you had with Funcom’s upcoming game The Secret World during the Penny Arcade Expo last week, but please remember that the Illuminati group mentioned in the game is only a fictional organization.  You do not need to concern yourselves that the Department of Electronic Entertainment has been infiltrated by Illuminati double agents.

The game presents a fictional world where three rival faction secretly compete for global domination.  These factions, the Templars, the Dragon, and the Illuminati exist only within the game, and neither the DoEE, CIA, nor the Department of Agriculture are currently engaged in heightened security protocols to sniff out Illuminati agents, Templars sleeper cells or Dragon shape-shifters.

While these notions make for an excellent video game story, this sort of secret society could hardly operate in the real world without drawing the attention of world governments.  I assure you that if the American government were aware of such a threat, it  would quickly respond by creating a specialized department, uniquely equipped to handle such the situation.

The Illuminati would be foolish to attempt to infiltrate this (Hypothetical) department, and would be well advised to withdraw any double agents before they are detected.

The Secret World launches this June for PC.  More can be found on the game’s website.

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About Department Chief Jackson

Department Chief Jackson was instrumental in forming the Department of Electronic Entertainment following the widespread civil unrest which occurred in 2007 during the Mass Effect sex scandal. With over forty years of public service, Chief Jackson knows better than any man the truth of the DoEE motto: “National Defense is no game“.
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