“Agents, by now you should all be aware that the White House has made the existence of the Department of Electronic Entertainment public. Despite my objections, the DoEE will now be operating with a greater degree of transparency, and will immediately cease all black ops initiatives, including the planned [REDACTED] of [REDACTED]. Those bastards will never know how lucky they are.
As of April 1st, we will be openly performing our duties in safeguarding America’s youth, advising parents, and ensuring that the video game industry and press maintain a high standard of ethics.
One more thing; “Operation Pandora Spear” will be placed on indefinite hold. Please return your scuba gear and parachutes to the quartermaster by 17:00. Dismissed.”