Blog Archives

Black Friday Collateral Damage Within Acceptable Parameters

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The following Department Briefing has been declassified as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, I’d like to thank you all for the overtime you’ve put in during the last 48 hours.  Without your efforts, I’m certain that the casualties … Continue reading

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Sony Holds Follow-Up Press Conference To Confirm PlayStation 3

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Today Sony held a press conference in New York to unveil the upcoming game console the PlayStation 4.  Immediately thereafter they held a second press event for confused reporters to reassure them that the PlayStation 3 really did exist and … Continue reading

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Third Party Developers Discover The Wii-U

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Despite an aggressive effort to prevent video game developers from creating games for their new Wii-U console, Nintendo has confirmed that third party video game developers have learned of the Wii-U’s existence and are now working to bring products to … Continue reading

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Steam Raises Prices By 400% Overnight

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Today gamers suffered a shock as the popular digital distributor Steam increased the prices of many of its products by as much as 400%.  Games such as the 2013 reboot of Tomb Raider were selling for $9.99 only yesterday but … Continue reading

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Gamers Take Moment of Silence. Griefers Take Opportunity to Massacre and Teabag.

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In the wake of the tragic events in Newtown last week, some politicians have laid the blame on video game violence, and several video game websites have called for a virtual ceasefire in online gaming to demonstrate that gamers do … Continue reading

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The Nation Will Be In Good Hands No Matter How The Election Turns Out

Attention Citizens:  Now that the election is upon us, we at the U.S. Department of Electronic Entertainment wish to quell any fears about the outcome of today’s election. Both Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are highly-qualified, and the nation will … Continue reading

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Bioshock Infinite Is Using Irony, or Perhaps Sarcasm

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When Irrational games announced they are developing a new Bioshock game set in the ultra-patriotic city of Columbia, we here at the U.S. Department of Electronic Entertainment were delighted at the prospect of exploring this wonderland of American Exceptionalism.  Unfortunately … Continue reading

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Zynga Announces “Battleville”

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Zynga has seen a drastic decline in its profits over the past month following its IPO. Further plaguing the troubled company is a copyright infringement lawsuit from Electronic Arts over Zynga’s  game The Ville which EA claims The Ville is a copy … Continue reading

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Warning: Do Not Tell The Mainstream Media About Gotham City Impostors

In the wake of the mass shootings in Aurora Colorado, the mainstream media and many politicians are desperately seeking a way to connect the killings to video games.  So far they have latched onto the blockbuster hits Batman Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. … Continue reading

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This Agency Disavows Any Knowledge Of The Virtuous Mission

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The following document has been declassified as per the Freedom of Information Act: “Agents, as you know, Konami recently released Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater 3D for the Nintendo 3DS.  Allow me to be clear, gentlemen – this video game is … Continue reading

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